Every first message I send takes an almost identical form to that end.

Every first message I send takes an almost identical form to that end.

“A confession,” I start, and follow this with a few observation in regards to the user’s profile which can be, in reality, only nominally a confession. “A confession,” we published one girl:

. . . I had that feeling I get when reading some gorgeous passage from Fitzgerald or Benjamin or something, that sense that the prose—or in this case the profile—just keeps getting better and better, more interesting, more engaging as I scrolled through your profile. I do believe we’d go along.

“A confession,” we composed another, “i discovered your profile by looking for ‘poetry.’” “A confession: we can’t also complete the crossword monday. Maybe you are able to assist me?” Tagged as “a confession,” the message produces the impression of an disclosure that is intimate manufacturing through its form a sense of trust as well as vulnerability that doesn’t really occur.

And it also works. The typical return-on-investment for a first message delivered from a guy to a lady

—in other terms, the reality back—is roughly thirty percent, a figure which reflects, I think, the way in which real-world dating practices carry over into a virtual world where men still take on the more socially aggressive role that she will message him. (more…)